Caring for you
by life.rhapsody
Summary: KakaIru. Kakashi has been keeping something from Iruka. He didn't think it was that serious, really.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own

* * *

Iruka woke up as the warmth next to him shifted abruptly, rolling off the bed and hitting the floor with thump. Iruka opened his eyes to see a flash of silver run to the bathroom. Retching followed. Iruka was off the bed instantly, making his way to the bathroom, the retching continued. He kneeled down next to the older man, rubbing a soothing hand on the tense back. The retching slowly subsided, leaving a panting, flushed jounin. Kakashi swiped at his mouth and a shudder ran through his frame. 

"Are you alright?" Iruka asked softly.

"I -," he began to cough, as if something was lodged in his throat..

"Kakashi?"

His cough turned wet and whatever was blocking his throat dislodged, along with blood.

"Kakashi!"

"I-ru-," he began coughing again, blood spurting through the fingers that covered his mouth.

"We're taking you to the hospital! No complaints!" Iruka said, trying not to panic. His mind reeling, _don't panic don't panic __don'tpanicdon'tpanicdon'tpanic__-_

* * *

Kakashi woke up to a familiar white ceiling, a feeling of nostalgia coursed through him, making him shudder. He wearily looked around, and realized that doing so made his head hurt more, he grunted and laid back down. A warm hand squeezed his, making him crack open a blue eye. Iruka sat next to him, a worried expression on his face.

"How are you feeling?"

Kakashi groaned, "What happened?"

"I don't know. You started throwing up and coughing up blood. I brought you to the hospital and they're running some test," Iruka let out a sigh and squeezed his lover's hand tighter, "I just hope it isn't anything serious."

Kakashi weakly squeezed his hand back, "Ne, Iruka don't worry. I'll be fine," he gave his a reassuring smile.

Iruka opened his mouth to say something when Tsunade walked into the room, eyed the couple, and smiled at the blush that crept into Iruka's cheeks, "Well, brat you've done it again," Kakashi blinked at her before frowning, hardly visible through his mask, "Now now, it's nothing to _really _worry about, but you've got ulcers. A few actually."

Kakashi blinked again, "I've got what?"

"Ulcers. We can treat them, but you'll have to take some medication for a while to heal them and prevent them from coming back," Tsunade frowned, "Ulcers hardly ever occur due to stress, but apparently, you went ahead and defied that, didn't you? That's the only thing I can think of considering the fact that you don't smoke, excessively drink, or are on any current medication," she sighed before continuing, "Have you been having any abdominal pains? Heartburn? Loss of appetite?"

Kakashi frowned as he thought, "Yes. No. Kind of." He didn't catch the surprised then hurt look Iruka gave him, though Tsunade did.

"The abdominal pains, when did they start?"

"Uh, don't remember, they would come and go, so I didn't think anything of them."

"No heartburn, your appetite?"

"Same as the pains, came and went."

Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Seriously, brat, you need to take care of yourself better than this," she let out a frustrated sigh, "The medicine I'm going to give you will help heal them, but some pain may – ah, correction – will occur. Since ulcers affect the nerves surrounding them, and you have a few, the healing process will agitate those same nerves."

"Isn't that kind of…ironic? Healing…isn't suppose to hurt."

"Well this is what you get for not taking care of yourself and getting ulcers from _stress_! This is one of the results you get for not going to your _mandatory_, monthly psyche evaluation."

Kakashi wanted to roll his eye, but didn't want to be swatted over the head by Iruka. He shot a glance to the chunin sitting next to him, who was sitting still, listening to the conversation as he stared at the white, pristine linen that covered his legs.

"Iruka-sensei, will you make sure he eats small frequent meals? At least five to six a day, to regulate his diet while he's on the medication?"

Iruka snapped his head up at sudden attention, "Oh, of course, Hokage-sama."

She smiled, "I'll give you a list to take home of what to avoid in his meals. Also, make sure he gets enough rest; two weeks should be enough time. After that, I want you to come in for a check-up," she turned to leave, "I'll send your release forms." She walked out of the room, the door clicking behind her.

Kakashi sighed and leaned back down onto the bedding. He felt the warm hand loosen its grip, making him open his eye questioningly. The chunin looked as if he was deep in thought, his brows slightly furrowed together. Iruka looked at him and gave him a small smile as a nurse bustled in, wearing a bright smile.

"Here are the release forms, sign and you can be on your way," she handed Kakashi the clipboard and he signed them, "And here is your medication that Tsunade-sama prescribed to you. Take two a day, after a meal. Like one in morning after breakfast, and another after dinner," she handed him the bottle of pills, "She told you about the side effects right?"

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow, "The pains?"

"That and they may cause some dizziness, so she has given you two weeks off to recover," she took the clipboard from the jounin and unclipped a paper from the back, "and here's the list that Tsunade-sama wanted you to have, of things to avoid while preparing his meals," she handed him the sheet of paper.

"Thank you," Iruka smiled at her as he took the paper and looked it over, _avoiding long periods without food. Foods to be avoided include high-fat breads and cereals, nuts and seeds, most pastries, raw vegetables, tomatoes and tomato products, citrus fruits and juices (if they cause discomfort), carbonated beverages, coffee, alcohol, and strong seasonings and condiments (such as garlic, chili powder, black pepper, etc.) Try to include: A combination of vitamins (A, C, and E) and minerals (zinc and selenium) and high protein (eggs, milk [at least at every meal, chicken, fish), and tea, __( If__ he does consume of these products, it may further irritate the ulcers.)_

"Make sure he gets lots of rest," she looked over the release forms and nodded, "Alright you're free to go." She smiled at them before she turned and left the room.

They made their way out of the hospital, stopping by the grocery store on their way back to Iruka's apartment.

"What can't I eat?" Kakashi said in a near whine.

Iruka gave him a blank look, "I can't believe you're whining," he sighed, "It's not that bad, just no high-fat breads and cereals, nuts and seeds, pastries, raw vegetables, tomatoes and tomato products, citrus fruits and juices, uh, if they bother you," he paused and thought for a moment, remembering the list, "carbonated drinks, coffee, alcohol, and strong seasonings."

"So," Kakashi drawled, "nothing good."

"Pretty much," he placed a carton of eggs in his basket, "she said that you should eat a lot of protein…," he looked at the jounin, "and milk."

Kakashi cringed, "Milk?"

Iruka rolled his eyes, "It's just milk, Kakashi, what so bad about that?"

Kakashi shrugged, "Never really liked it."

"Well, you're going to get used to it," he put a carton of milk in his basket, and another as an afterthought, "Whether you like it or not."

Kakashi pouted, and despite the mask, Iruka saw it, "Iruka," he whined.

"You can be such a kid sometimes, you know that?" he sighed and made his way to the produce aisle, "What kind of fruit do you want?"

Kakashi shrugged, hands in his pockets, "Whatever, don't really care."

Iruka glared at him, "I'll get you prunes if you don't care then."

"That's gross, Iruka."

Needless to say, the trip to the grocery store took longer that it should have.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own.

* * *

Once back home, Iruka prepared lunch for the jounin. It was somewhat difficult task to accomplish; _This__ diet…is going to give me a headache._ He thought he would prepare something light. He cooked and marinated chicken, keeping the spices light, but flavoring it with teriyaki sauce, served over brown rice. 

The jounin walked into the kitchen just as he placed the bowl on the table, "Good timing, lunch is ready."

"Ah, thank you, Iruka," the older man sat down broke his chopsticks and began to eat, while Iruka placed a cup of tea next to him.

Iruka sat down across from the older man, a bowl of his own in front of him, "Can…I ask you something?"

"Hmm?" he hummed as he chewed a piece of chicken.

"Why…why didn't you tell me?" he asked as he looked down and picked at his food.

Kakashi swallowed and looked at the chunin sitting across from him, "I didn't think it was serious," he sighed, "I'm sorry."

"You should have told me anyway," Iruka still didn't look at him.

"And make you worried? I really didn't think it was serious, Iruka."

"Yeah, like you coughing up blood didn't make me worry," he said sullenly.

Kakashi looked at the man sitting across from him. A sudden pang of guilt hitting him, "I'm sorry, Iruka," he said softly.

Iruka sighed, "Finish your lunch, you need to take your medicine."

"You know," he said after taking a sip of his tea, "you don't have to do this."

Iruka looked up, a questioning look in his eyes, "What are you talking about?"

"Taking care of me, you don't have to – "

"I know," he said calmly, and took a sip of his own tea, "I want to," he gave the older man a small smile, "So let me"

Kakashi smiled back at him and finished his lunch, "Thank you, Iruka, that was very good."

Iruka smiled and stood up to clear the table, "I'm glad you liked it," he placed the bowls and cup in the sink and retrieved the jounin's medicine, "Now drink this."

Kakashi sighed and took the pill and drank it with the rest of his tea. Iruka smirked at him and took the empty cup, "Now go rest," Kakashi pouted in response, "Don't look at me like, now go." Kakashi reluctantly got up and headed to the living room, leaving the chunin in the kitchen to wash the dishes.

Kakashi sprawled on the couch and closed his eyes letting out a deep sigh. A cold touch made him open his eyes again. Iruka was smiling down at him, a glass in his hand…with white liquid. Kakashi's eyes widened.

"You're drinking this whether you like it or not."

Kakashi sat up with a disgruntled look, and took the glass from the younger man. He looked at the glass, to Iruka, and then back to the glass, as if trying to convey a hidden message.

"Just drink it," Iruka deadpanned.

Kakashi frowned, and brought the glass to his lips and took a sip, his frown deepened.

Iruka gave him a considering look, "Would you prefer if it was warm?"

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow and looked up at him, "Warm?"

Iruka nodded, and took the glass from him, "I think you would prefer it warm." He wandered back to the kitchen and warmed the milk, not too hot, just warm enough to comfort. He walked back into the living room and handed the jounin the now warm glass, "There."

Kakashi took it, and let warm his hand before taking a sip. He considered it, before taking another sip, "This…isn't so bad…I guess."

"You like it, you just don't want to admit it," his smile grew as the jounin took another drink of the milk and finished the glass. Iruka chuckled and leaned down to lick the milk from the jounin's top lip, making the older man blush. He rumpled the silver locks and kissed the pale forehead.

Iruka wandered back into the kitchen as Kakashi laid back down on the couch, _Maybe__ I should take a nap or something, avoid those side effects. _He made himself comfortable and shut his eyes, he heard the younger man walk back into the living, sigh, and made some shuffling. He found the hushed sounds the younger man made were quite soothing, and slowly it lulled him to sleep.

* * *

_Do these kids even _think _about the essay prompt?_ Iruka groaned and continued to grade the essays that his students seemed to incline to make him frustrated with. He older man shifted on the couch, making him look up. The older man had been asleep a good two hours or so, _I wonder if I should wake him to feed him the onigiri I made_. He remembered the note Tsunade gave him, saying that he shouldn't go too long without eating. He figured it would be already to let the older man sleep a while longer. He went back to his grading but was distracted by some more shifting on the couch. Iruka looked at the older man, until the movements settled down again. He continued his marking on an essay, practically ripping it apart, _I'm not even being a grammar snob or anything_, Iruka looked up at a grunt the older man let out, followed by a groan.

"Kakashi?"

The older man was faced away from him, as he let out another groan. Iruka stood, walked to the older man, and sat on the edge of the couch, placing his hand on a shoulder, "Kakashi?"

The older man groaned in response, bringing his knees up, and practically rolling up into a ball, "I-ruka –," the older man clutched at his stomach and screwed his eyes shut, "h-hurts-," was the only word he was able to say as he tried to choke back a whimper.

_She said that the healing would hurt_, he rubbed the shoulder in a soothing gesture, he placed his free hand on the one clutching the stomach, moving it away. He snaked his hand under the gray shirt and rubbed the stomach soothingly, channeling chakra to warm his hand and ease the pain, "It's ok." He felt the older man shudder and let out a breath, before tensing again, and sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. His hand continued to sooth his stomach as the other brushed away silver locks to kiss his temple. Kakashi swallowed and let out another breath, gasping for air as he tried to relax.

"Can you roll on to your back?" Iruka whispered into his ear. The jounin slowly rolled onto his back, breathing slowly as he did so. He slumped back into the couch, "Are you alright?" Kakashi gave a small nod, closing his eyes.

"I'm going to get you something to eat, and some tea," Iruka told him before he made to stand up.

"I'm not hungry," Kakashi said hoarsely.

"I know," he brushed away the silver strands from the pale forehead, for them to just fall back into place, "but you have to eat something, ok?" he kissed the older man's forehead, "It's just onigiri, something light." He stood and left to the kitchen, _It's__ worse than I thought, _he thought as he took the onigiri out of the fridge, and placed water to boil. He let out a sigh as the water heated up, _You need to take care of yourself better than this_. He suddenly remembered what Tsunade said.

_"Well this is what you get for not taking care of yourself and getting ulcers from stress! This is one of the results you get for not going to your _mandatory_, monthly psyche evaluation."_

Iruka dropped his gaze, _Why__ are you so careless…_the whistling of the tea pot broke his musings. He placed a tea bag in a cup and poured hot water over it, letting it seep. He walked back into the living room a plate in one hand, a cup in another. Kakashi managed to sit up, wedging himself between the back of the couch and the armrest, leaning his head against the back.

"Here," he handed the older man the plate and placed the cup on the coffee table.

"Thank you, Ruru."

Iruka smiled at him as he took a seat next to him. He noticed the jounin take small bits and chewing slowly, "Does it still hurt?"

"Kind of," he took another bite, "When do I have to take the other pill?"

"After dinner, at least three hours before going to sleep," he reached for the cup on the coffee table and handed it to the older man, who took a nice gulp of it, letting the heat run down to his stomach.

Iruka was satisfied when the older man finished two onigiri and his tea, taking the plate and cup from him, "You should get some rest," Kakashi settled back down on the couch, "wouldn't the bed be more comfortable?"

"Don't feel like getting up," he mumbled before shifting onto his side, facing Iruka, and closing his eyes with a small smile of his lips. Iruka smiled and pulled the throw from the back of the couch and covered the slender frame with it.

"I'll wake you when dinner is ready," he said softly. Kakashi hummed in response. Making another trip to the kitchen to drop off the dishes, and make another cup of tea for himself, he settled back down to finish his grading.

* * *

"Kakashi…" 

Kakashi groaned and tried to bury his face into the cushion under him.

"Kakashi, wake up, dinner's ready."

"Not hungry," Kakashi mumbled in his sleep induced state.

"I don't care, you have to eat. Come on get up," Iruka lightly swatted at his shoulder, "Or I'll make you drink your milk cold!"

Kakashi cracked open an eye in attempts to glare at him, it didn't work very well considering the fact that the was nearly laying on stomach, trying to snuggle into the throw and cushion, making the jounin look rather…

_Cute_, Iruka chuckled, "Come on…" Kakashi groaned and made to sit up but clutched at his stomach instead, "Are you alright?"

Kakashi took a moment to consider, "Yeah…I'm fine." He sat up and stood in one motion. Bad idea. He swayed and nearly fell forward. Iruka securely held him by the elbow.

"You're dinner's getting cold," he said softly, and led him to the kitchen. They sat down across from each other whispered "Itadakimasu", broke their chopsticks and began eating.

"Hmm, fish," Kakashi commented, "haven't had fish in a while."

Iruka gave him a shy smile, "It's salmon; it's supposed to be high in protein and vitamin D."

Kakashi took a piece into his mouth, "It's good."

Iruka smiled and continued eating. A comfortable silence fell over them as they ate.

_I wonder how long he's been hiding these pains from me_, Iruka thought as he took the last piece of salmon into his mouth and chewed slowly, the plate was moved away snapping Iruka out of his thoughts.

Kakashi gave him a sheepish look, "You were done, right?" Iruka looked up at him, "Iruka?"

"Oh – yeah, I was done, thank you." Kakashi smiled down at him and placed the dished into the sink, turning on the water to wash them.

Iruka stood, "No, let me, you should take your medicine," Kakashi groaned, making Iruka glare at him, "None of that. The bottle is right over there," he pointed at the counter.

Kakashi took his medicine while watching Iruka wash the dishes. Iruka felt someone staring at his back so he check to make sure it wasn't just him. Surely enough, Kakashi was giving him an intent look and grinned at the blush that slowly spread over his cheeks, "I'm going to take a shower," he said, and as an afterthought, "Would you like to join me?"

Iruka turned away from him, "Go shower, Kakashi," he deadpanned, "besides, I already took a shower." Kakashi pouted and left to the bathroom.

* * *

_I can't believe I've barely got half of these papers graded_, Iruka sighed and began grading another essay, _Makes me think if they are being dense on purpose_. He began reading the essay and realized that this student's writing was as bad as a certain silver haired jounin. Iruka let out a frustrated groan, _makes me think if they _want _to give me a headache. _The writing reminded him of his lover that was still in the shower. He figured he should go check on the older man, and make sure he has fresh clothes to change into. He made his way to the bedroom, and pulled out a clean shirt from the dresser along with a pair of sweatpants, both originally the older man's from…when? Iruka couldn't recall. He knocked softly on the bathroom door, waiting for Kakashi's response. 

"Kakashi?" he asked after a moment and knocked a bit louder.

"Iru-ka," there was a sharp intake of breath and Iruka's eyes widened in concern. He opened the door and walked in, placing the clothes on the closed toilet. He opened the shower curtain and found Kakashi sitting in the corner of the tub, his knees drawn up as he clutched at his stomach. He gave a strained chuckled before sucking a breath, "You-you've got to be kidding me," he said between gritted teeth, and screwed his eyes shut.

Iruka shut off the water, reached for the older man, cupping a pale cheek, "Breathe, 'Kashi." Kakashi tried but the pain was a cramping pain, it made him tense up and hold his breath, making him let out a small whimper.

Iruka's eyes filled with concern, _I hate seeing him like this…so vulnerable_, he ran his thumb under the pale blue eye that was screwed shut, "We need to get you out of the shower, can you stand?"

Kakashi swallowed, "I-I can try," he tried to push himself up, a firm hand on his elbow. He slipped forward and Iruka bearly caught him against his chest, instinctively wrapping his arms around his waist, "Ugh, sorry," he mumbled against him before trying to straightening up.

Iruka had a soft blush on his cheeks and tried not to think that Kakashi was wet. And naked, "It's alright, just be careful - ," he hardly caught the older man as he stepped out of the tub and lost his footing. Iruka sighed, "I'm beginning to think you're doing this on purpose."

Kakashi managed a grin, "Maybe," he gave a soft chuckle as Iruka blushed, "Good thing I trust you, hm?"

Iruka didn't say anything. He helped the older man dry off and made him sit on the bed, "Don't go to sleep yet." He walked out to the kitchen and warmed a cup of milk. He walked back into the bedroom and found the jounin nodding off; _the medication must be wearing him out_. He handed him the glass of milk, making sure he drank all of it. He took the empty glass from him and ran his fingers through the silver locks, and gave him a sweet kiss, "Good night, love."

"Hmm, night…," he mumbled as he settled into the sheets and shut his eyes.

Iruka continued to thread his fingers through the moist hair as the older man relaxed into deep sleep, _You__ worry me sometimes, you know that? _He kissed the exposed temple, before leaving the bedroom, the night was still early and he had papers to give him a headache.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own.

* * *

Iruka joined his lover in bed a few hours later, careful not to make too much movement and stir the older man. He spooned up against him, wrapping his arms gently around the older man. Kakashi sighed in his sleep and moved closer, making Iruka smile. The steady breathing lulled him to sleep, making his mind wander away from the papers he had to finish grading tomorrow for Monday, and followed his lover into deep sleep.

* * *

Iruka felt shifting, and abrupt movement. His sleep induced mind chose to ignore it before remembering exactly _what _in his arms was moving. He opened his eyes and watched the older man tense and try to stay quiet. He rubbed the taut smooth stomach in a signal that he was awake. 

Kakashi's breath hitched before tensing again, "Shit," he cursed softly and clutched at his stomach, urging the pain to leave.

Iruka kissed his neck, "Breathe, Kakashi," he whispered into his ear.

Kakashi panted a couple of breaths before groaning and trying to bury his face into the pillows, gritting his teeth. The pain making him to roll into a ball.

Iruka was torn between concern and unable to comfort his lover. A sudden idea occurred to him, and he mentally kicked himself for not trying it earlier. He took his free hand and pressed on a pressure point above the older man's buttocks, near the spine. Kakashi twitched and began to relax, panting from holding his breath through the pain.

"I know this won't work every time," he whispered into his lover's ear, "but it's worth a try."

Kakashi relaxed and held the hand on his stomach, "thank you," he whispered back, tired, "How am I suppose to rest like this? The pain is even waking me up."

Iruka moved his hand to wrap his arms around the older man, "I don't know, but you can't take any pain killers for it," Iruka sighed. Kakashi slowly rolled over to face Iruka, and pulled him closer, and kissed the younger man's forehead, the scarred nose, then the soft lips, giving him a soft passionate kiss. The kiss lazily broke, and his lips lingered on the other pair, and watched the chocolate eyes flutter close. He pressed his lips against the tan forehead.

_I'm sorry, __Ruru_ he shut his eyes, feeling the younger man's hot breath hit his neck soothingly, _for making you worry_. He felt himself drift back into sleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up to pain again.

* * *

Kakashi woke up, cold, and realized that it was because Iruka was already gone. He sighed and rolled onto his back, and smelled eggs in the air. Suddenly he felt hungry. He got out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and wandered into the kitchen where found his lover serving the cooked eggs onto two plates. 

Iruka jumped as arms wrapped around his waist, "Good morning, 'Kashi."

"Hmm," he nuzzled the chunin's neck and took the plates, "'morning, Ruru." He placed the plates on the table, while Iruka placed two glasses of milk next to the plates.

They took their usual seating and began to eat. Kakashi seemed amused that the scrambled eggs had cheese on them.

"Can I ask you something?" Iruka asked after a while.

"Hmm?" he looked up at the younger man sitting across from him.

"Why…" he thought about his words before continuing, "How come you never went to your psyche evaluations?"

Kakashi looked at him, before giving a small shrug, "I don't know. I didn't feel like if I had to."

"What do you mean?" Iruka practically snapped, "You're like _this _because you didn't go! You had _pains_ for goodness sake! You didn't _feel _like if you had to?" Kakashi didn't response, breaking Iruka's reserve, "You're stress got you like this, Kakashi, stress you could have easily avoided if you went to those damn evaluations."

"What if I just didn't want to talk to a damn psyche nin?" Kakashi said irritated, "about my so called problems?"

"It didn't have to be a psyche nin –"

"Then who?"

"Me," he said in a small voice and dropped his gaze. Kakashi stared at him, taken at back from the sudden turn of the conversation. A silence fell over them, and a pang of guilt hit the jounin square in the chest. It never really occurred to him, mostly because he didn't want to worry him. The chunin has enough to deal with as it is, let alone having to console the jounin about his own "problems".

"Unless you don't trust me enough…" he said above a whisper, "because I'm always here for you, Kakashi…"

"Iruka…" he didn't know what to say. Iruka got up and threw away the unfinished eggs and placed the plate in the sink. He opened the bottle of Kakashi's medication and placed a pill on the table before leaving the kitchen. Leaving the jounin feeling guilty as ever.

* * *

Kakashi walked into the living after a while, and found Iruka grading on the coffee table. He sat on the couch adjacent to the chunin. 

"I didn't want you to worry," he said suddenly, softly, making the chunin look up from his grading, "You have enough to deal with as it is, Iruka, I didn't want to add on to that."

"But look where that got you," he responded gently, "You got ulcers from that stress, Kakashi, do you really think that's worth it?"

Kakashi sighed and reclined his head back, "No," he said simply before continuing, "I guess…I'm just not used to talking to someone about these kinds of things."

Iruka sighed and stood to sit next to his lover, "You have to take better care of yourself, 'Kashi, even if it's just something simple like talking about your day or…I don't know, something that's bothering you." He gave a sideways glance at him, "because apparently you have enough stress you make yourself sick…literally."

Kakashi chuckled, "You have a point," he lifted his head from its reclined position and looked at Iruka as he took a tan hand into his pale one, "I'm sorry," he said softly, "for making you think that…that I don't trust you."

Iruka gave him a small smile, "Don't worry about it –"

"No," Kakashi shook his head slowly and tightened his grip, "It's not fair of me," he scratched the back of his neck, "I _know _that you're here when I need you, heck, why do you think I come to you after missions," he gave the younger man a sheepish smile, "Yet…I still find it difficult to..." he trailed off when he couldn't find the right words, "I trust you Iruka, I do…please don't think otherwise."

Soft lips kissed his cheek, "Sorry for ever thinking that, Kakashi," he smiled softly at him, "I guess...I just…"

"Made you feel insecure?" Kakashi guessed. Iruka blushed from embarrassment, "I'm sorry, Ruru," he softly locked their lips together in an apology. He felt the younger man sigh into the kiss and bring his hand up to cup his jaw.

Iruka pulled away, a soft blush on his cheeks, "You should go rest."

"Hmm, you don't mind if I keep you company, do you?"

Iruka chuckled, "Sure." He stood but was pulled back down onto the older man's lap. Before he could protest lips met his in a passionate kiss, a hot tongue licked his bottom lip making him gasp and deepen the kiss. He melted into the kiss, bringing in hands up to thread them into silver locks and pulled the older man closer. He pulled away when he remembered himself, flushed and breathless, "You…only if you behave."

Kakashi grinned, "I'll try."

Iruka got off his lap and went back to his grading, as Kakashi reclined on the couch and whipped out his favorite book. Iruka's glare went unnoticed as the jounin hummed to himself as he read. Though, Iruka couldn't help but smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own.

AN: I know this one's short...yeah. Enjoy anyway!

* * *

_I have a feeling, that I should have kept my mouth shut,_ Iruka thought as he showered, _the last thing he needed was me taking him on a guilt trip_. Iruka began to feel guilty himself, _Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut_. 

He frowned as he recalled the conversation.

_"It didn't have to be a psyche __nin__ –"_

_"Then who?"_

_"Me__…__Unless you don't trust me enough…__"_

_ I just said it without thinking…but…_He sighed and shook his head, _It__ was foolish of me to think that__, selfish of me to _say _that__…_

He recalled all those times the jounin would rather come home to him after missions rather than the hospital. Giving himself over the chunin when he was most tired and exhausted, when he was most vulnerable; if that didn't convey trust, then what did? And those times when he would climb in bed while the jounin was sleeping, and he wouldn't stir, but rather sleepily wrap his arms around the younger man. But what made Iruka's heart ache in sudden realization and guilt, and wiped away his doubts was the fact that the jounin has let him into his heart, his life, knowing the risk that came with being a shinobi, a jounin, the infamous Sharingan Kakashi, and still loved him, and let the chunin love him back.

_No…it's wasn'__t fair of me_he thought solemnly as he lathered up his shampoo and rinsed. His thoughts were derailed as arms wrapped around his waist and caught him by surprise.

"Kakashi –."

"You don't mind if I join you, do you?" he purred into the younger man's ear and grinned, "It'll save water."

Iruka blushed but didn't protest. Instead, he took the sponge and lathered it with soap before turning around and washing the older man. Kakashi purred under the attention as the younger man washed his chest and arms, moving down to wash his long legs. He turned around and allowed him to wash his back, turning back around and the younger man pulled him into the spray.

"Hmm, I'm quite enjoying all this attention you're giving me, Ruru," Kakashi grinned and kissed the chunin under the spray, enjoying the soft lips and wet body pressed against his. He felt a sudden cramping in stomach, making him pull away and grip the chunin's shoulders almost painfully.

"Oh shit," he cursed softly and knelt down, bringing the chunin down with him, "Oh shit – I t-think these," he hissed at the pain, "these pains are getting worse."

Iruka bit his bottom lip worriedly not being able to do anything but hold him through the pain, trying to ignore the bruising fingers on his shoulders, "Oh, 'Kashi," he said above a whisper.

Kakashi breathed harshly through his nose and loosened his grip on the tan shoulders, he looked up at Iruka with unfocused eyes, blinking as he felt the bathroom starting to spin under him. Iruka turned off the water, keeping a secure hand on the older man and helped him to stand. Kakashi covered his eyes with a hand in an attempt to steady himself, _Pains and dizziness? Why…WHY both?!_ He gave a frustrated groan as he felt his knees almost give way. A firm arm around his waist kept him steady as the other dried him off.

Iruka gently helped him to lay on the bed, "I'm going to make you some tea," he said before leaving to the kitchen.

_Why do I feel worse? _Kakashi groaned, _Why__ does it feel like if the medicine _isn't _doing its job? _He stared at the ceiling and began to feel tired, a dizzy tired at that, _maybe I'm not getting enough rest…_he frowned,_ how can I get rest when these pains _won't_ let me? _Iruka walked back into the bedroom, a hot cup of tea in his hand.

"Chamomile, it'll help you relax."

Kakashi really didn't feel like sitting up, but figured that the tea would help him get some much needed rest, he grunted as he sat up enough to take the cup, and take small drinks. Allowing the warm liquid run through him as a comfortable heat, relaxing him and the dull pain in his abdominals.

"I'll ask Tsunade-sama if the pains are going to get better. Maybe she can give you something for them," Iruka said as the older man began to finish his tea, and nodded, "But for now, just rest, alright? Or at least try to," he took the empty cup from the older man and a cool pale fingers wrapped around his wrist loosely.

Kakashi looked at him with lazy eyes and gave him a small smile, before it faltered, "I'm sorry…" he whispered suddenly, slumping back into the bed, "I'm so sorry Iruka…" he whispered in a tired broken voice, letting the younger man's wrist go.

Iruka gave him a confused look, "For what? Taking care of you? I already told you…" the jounin slowly shook his head slowly his eyes shutting closed.

"I'm…sorry…," the words left his lips above a whisper as he fell asleep.

Iruka looked at the sleeping man, confused, _What__ are you apologizing for, '__Kashi?_


	5. Chapter 5

Diclaimer: Don't own.

AN: NC-17 for this chapter, because it somehow snuck in there. Not too explicit though.

* * *

Iruka left to the academy after preparing breakfast, lunch and light snacks for his lover. The reason being that he didn't want to come back home and find his kitchen in ruins, the result of Kakashi's attempt of cooking.

The day went rather slow. He handed back graded homework and had to deal with Konohamaru's behavior. His students fidgeted throughout his lecture on Chakra control and uses, and he was rather glad when lunch break rolled in. He couldn't help but think about his silver haired lover, making a smile tug on his lips as he kept an eye on the children that played outside. Even after their running and playing, his students appeared to have refilled their energy tanks after lunch, when Iruka was beginning to run low. He was rather glad he had a quiz for them, and he hoped, for their sake, that they were not only fidgeting throughout his lecture but actually paying attention. He gave them the last thirty minutes of class for the pop quiz, he figured there were five questions, six minutes each? The whines and groaning nearly made him groan in response.

As the children worked on their quiz, he worked on his lesson plan for the rest of the week, hoping that another lecture wouldn't bore his student's out of their wits. The release bell caught by surprise, and saw his students desperately gathering their things to leave.

"Don't forget to turn in your quiz," he announced over the growing chatter in his classroom. The students made a trip to his desk before heading out of the academy. As his classroom cleared he gathered his things, Shizune walked into his classroom.

"Good afternoon, Iruka-sensei," she said as she made her way to his desk, Tonton on her heels.

"Good afternoon, Shinuze-san, what brings you here?"

"Running errands for Tsunade-sama," she said a bit annoyed, but smiled brightly at him, "she asks to see you."

"Oh, alright, I'll be on my way."

Shizune nodded, "I'll let her know," she turned and left the classroom.

Iruka packed his things and secured his classroom before heading to the Hokage's tower.

* * *

"Come in," Tsunade said as she heard a knock at the door. Iruka walked in bowed.

"Hokage-sama."

"Please sit, Iruka-sensei," she gestured at the chair in front of her huge desk that was crowded with files and documents.

Iruka took a seat across from her, "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about, Tsunade-sama?"

She smirked, "What do you think?" her smirk turned into a smile as the chunin in front of her blushed lightly, "So, how is he doing?"

"Fine," he started, "but the pains…he said that they are getting worse?"

"Well he _does _have a few ulcers, and I did say that the healing was going to hurt. The pain is a sign that the medicine is doing its job."

Iruka nodded slowly, "Is there anything to ease that pain? There are times where it won't let him rest."

"Hmm, well, I suppose you can give him chamomile tea," she rested her chin on a propped hand, "though it might make him a bit tipsy."

Iruka raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"The medication he's taking might increase the chamomile's natural relaxants, and end him making him a bit tipsy, not drunk or anything, but that should help if the pain is really bothering him."

Iruka considered the information_, wait…I gave him chamomile tea last night_ –

"Other than that, how is the brat? I trust he's eating well?"

Iruka nodded, "Yes."

Tsunade sighed, "That brat, he really needs to learn how to take care of himself. Do you understand how serious the cause of his ulcers is?" Iruka furrowed his brows slightly, "Stress, Iruka, he actually got ulcers from _stress_. I've been trying to figure out if there could be any other cause, but everything just keeps leading me back to stress," she gave a deep sigh, "and enough stress to cause more than one." She gave Iruka and intent look, and he actually felt like fidgeting, much like his students, "Has he talked to you, Iruka?"

Iruka raised his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"He hasn't gone to any of his psyche evaluations, and I can't _force _him to go, because then that just defeats the whole purpose of them. So, what I mean is, has he talked to you about anything?"

"You mean what could be stressing him?"

"Yes."

Iruka's eyebrows furrowed, and he dropped his gaze slightly, "No…"

"You aren't lying to me are you?"

He raised his gaze to meet hers, surprised, "Of course not, Tsunade-sama."

She frowned, "He's much more private than I thought then," she looked at the tense chunin in front of her, "The reason that I ask is to confirm if it really is stress or not. Even if I am one hundred percent sure."

"I understand, Tsunade-sama."

"Which then leads me to another problem…"

"What would that be?"

"Since he got these ulcers from stress, and he's not doing anything about it, they can come back," Iruka gave her a worried expression, "That's another reason I asked, to know if he is at least talking to _someone _about his problems, even if he doesn't want to admit that he has them," she smiled fondly at him, "You would be surprised just how much just talking about one's day, and just venting, helps relieve stress." She paused before continuing, "On a more personal matter…how often do you two have sex?"

Iruka blushed beet red, and stammered, "T-Tsunade-sama –"

"Calm down Iruka, I need to know if he's at least relieving stress one way or another, whether it be physically or emotionally."

Iruka averted his eyes and felt his face heat up, and found that he wasn't able to talk about such a personal matter.

"Alright, just answer me this: once a week?"

No response, _What__? Does she think I'm a prude or something?_

"Twice a week?" No response, "Three times a week?" No response, but an amused smirk from the large breasted woman, "At _least_ four times a week?" A frustrated groan from the chunin gave her the answer, _Kakashi that __dog_, she thought with a smirk, "Well, it's good to know that it's not due to physical stress."

Iruka tried to make the blood on his face go anywhere but his face, _How embarrassing, _he kept his gaze away from Tsunade as she continued speaking, _I don't think I can look at her again._

"I wouldn't suggest forcing him to talk to you, since he seems so reluctant to talk to _anyone_, and doing so might just add on to it. How ironic it would be to find talking to someone about stress stressful, but this brat," she let out a frustrated sigh, "He defied getting ulcers _from _stress…" she gave Iruka a concerned look, "I'm only looking out for him, since he won't."

"I know, Tsunade-sama."

"I know he trust you, Iruka," she smiled at him, "and it's been a long time since he's really trusted anyone. So, I'm trusting that he'll confide in you, and I know that you will be there when he does."

Iruka raised his gaze, his blush disappearing from his cheeks, all he could do was nod.

"I'm not asking for you to tell me what he tells you, I understand that's personal, but I do ask for you to tell me if he _does_ talk to you, alright?"

Iruka nodded, "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

She reclined in her chair, "So, if the pain gets unbearable, give him some Chamomile tea, I suggest giving him a cup before going to bed, so he can relax," she paused, "I'm not too sure that you should tell him that it relaxes him, since he might subconsciously try to fight that chemical reaction…him being a brat and all."

Iruka chuckled, "Alright."

"Just no pain killers, that'll irritate, not only his ulcers, but his stomach. He hasn't vomited has he?" Iruka shook his head, "That's a good sign, means he's keeping down the food and medicine," she propped an elbow on her desk and rested her chin in a hand, "The pains will decrease, but not any time soon, I would give it at least a week."

"Alright."

She smiled softly at him, "He's lucky he has you, you know?"

Iruka's blush found its way back onto his cheeks, "Uh…thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Well, then that's all, unless you have any more questions?" Iruka shook his head, "Alright, you're free to go."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," he stood and bowed before leaving her office.

_You have a god guy in your hands, brat, _she stretched her arms above her head, _Confide in him, it'll do you some good._ She looked out the window before settling her eyes on the stacks of paper on her desk. She frowned, _Where's__ my sake?_

* * *

Iruka opened the door to his apartment, grateful that he didn't have to work in the mission today. He walked in and saw that the jounin was sound asleep on the couch. He quietly closed the front toed off his sandals and shrugged off his vest. He made a quick trip to the bedroom and changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. He quietly made his way to the kitchen and checked the fridge.

_Ah, good, he ate_, Iruka thought with a smile, part of him was worried that the older man would skip out on his meals. He noticed that the empty carton of milk was in the trash, making his smile grow, _and he said he didn't like milk._

He made his way back into the living and got a better look of the older man. Kakashi was facing him, and using his arm as a pillow as the other held on to his oh so favorite book.

_I wonder when __was the last time he ate,_ not wanting to wake the peaceful man, he pulled the throw onto the slender frame. Kakashi stirred and cracked open an eye, "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he said softly.

Kakashi smiled, rolled on to his back and stretched along the length of the couch, "Hmm, welcome back home, Ruru."

Iruka smiled down at him, "Thank you, 'Kashi."

Kakashi got a mischievous glint in his eye, and before Iruka could register it, he was pulled down on top of the older man. With quick reflexes, he managed not to crush the jounin under him, "What –" he was pulled into a kiss, a soft kiss that turned passionate after every breath. He sighed into the kiss, as strong arms wrapped around his waist, and pulled him closer. Their hips shifted and he felt the older man's growing aurosal. Iruka pulled away, flushed and bit too breathless.

"You – shouldn't-"

Kakashi grinned and held on to the younger man's hips, and rocked against him, making Iruka shudder, "Hmm? But Ruru, I want you," he said teasingly, and his grin grew as a hot blush crept onto the tan face.

"You-you have to eat dinner," Iruka tried to get off the older man firm hands held on to him.

"Can't I eat you?" he purred.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi continued grinning, "Then, can I have you for dessert?"

Iruka's blush deepened and he swatted at the hands on his hips, "Let me go, you pervert!"

Kakashi chuckled, "Only if you promise."

Iruka stared at him, and averted his eyes while murmuring something.

"What was that?"

"I said fine! N-now let me go and make dinner!"

Kakashi gave a hearty laugh before kissing a heated cheek and let the chunin go.

Iruka made his way into the kitchen and prepared dinner: steamed rice and vegetable tempura, and teriyaki chicken. Kakashi walked in just as he was serving the food onto the plates.

"Are you a mind reader, Ruru?" he snatched a tempura and took a bite out of it, "I've been craving these."

Iruka chuckled, "Place these on the table. You don't mind milk do you?"

Kakashi smiled, "Not anymore."

They say across from each, as usual. The jounin dug in his meal which earned him a glare to slow down.

"Did you talk to the old hag?"

"Kakashi!" he scowled.

"What?"

Iruka let out a frustrated sigh, "Yes, I talked to Tsunade-sama."

"What did she say?"

"That the pains won't go away any time soon, she said to give them a week before they start decreasing," Kakashi frowned at that, "She also said that tea can help with the discomfort," he intentionally let out as to what kind of tea, "Did they bother you today?"

He sighed, "Yeah, at least now I know that they can't get worse right?"

They finished their meals in a comfortable silence, and a silent plea from Kakashi to have his lover's tempura, making Iruka laugh.

Iruka cleared the plates and placed them in the sick to wash them, as he cleaned the last dish, Kakashi didn't seem to keep his hands to himself anymore. He snaked his hands into the younger man's shirt, pressing his front along the younger man's back. Iruka shuddered as the hands glided along his chest, caressing.

"D-did you drink your medicine?" he managed to say.

"Yes," he purred into his ear, and nibbled on the earlobe, "Can I have my dessert now?" his breath ghosting over the shell of the younger man's ear.

Iruka was turned around and locked into a passionate kiss and pressed against the counter, making their bodies flush. A sudden need made Iruka moan into the kiss, and thread his wet fingers into the silver locks. Kakashi purred in response and held him by the hips, dragging his hands up along with the worn t-shirt. Soft lips kissed Iruka's neck, biting occasionally to leave love bites. He kept his fingers threaded through the silver hair, urging the older man along.

"Hmm, let's go somewhere more comfortable," he purred into the younger man's ear who nodded in response.

Iruka was eagerly undress and gently pushed down onto the bed, "Are-are you sure about –," a soft kiss interrupted him.

"Making love to you isn't stressful, Ruru," he said reassuringly, kissing the chunin to make him understand.

Bare skin glided along bare skin and Kakashi rolled them on their sides and slowly pushed into the younger man who sighed and moan in content, reciprocating, eagerly pushing back against him. Kakashi kissed and licked tan skin as his free hand caressed his front, intentionally ignoring the organ that was asking for much needed attention. He began a slow and steady pace, tenderness behind every push, making the younger man arch his back away from him.

Kakashi rolled them, pinning Iruka against the mattress, as their bodies laid flush; back to chest. Pale thighs spread the tan pair, allowing deeper penetration. Iruka moaned feverishly, as his hips rocked back against the older man, and grinded in the mattress under him on their own accord. He gripped the sheets near his head through the sheer pleasure. Pale hands grasped his, entwining their fingers as the older man increased his speed. Iruka gasped and panted against the sheets, feeling the bare chest against his back, and his lover's hot breaths on his neck, and ear.

"Iruka," Kakashi moaned, fueling Iruka's lust.

Iruka whispered his lover's name, as if it was mantra, the mattress half muffling his moans. His hips were lifted enough for a warm hand to grasp his sobbing erection.

"Kakashi!" Iruka cried out at the hot contact, rocking against both the pale hips and hand that abused him with pleasure. Kakashi groaned and grunted in his ear.

"Come for me, Love." Where the words that unwound Iruka, making his orgasm shudder through his frame, making him come over the sheets and the pale hand. The older man found his release among his lover's, rolling his hips through his own orgasm, spilling his seeds deep within the younger man, earning him a pleasant shudder from the younger man under him.

Kakashi gasped and panted for air against Iruka's neck, making their hot breath mingle with each other. Kakashi rolled them back on their sides, swiftly pulling out of Iruka, "Hmm, Ruru."

Iruka recollected himself, "I…should make you some tea."

Kakashi nuzzled the back of his neck, "Hmm, don't have to."

"I don't want you to be woken up by pain again…," Iruka said solemly.

Kakashi sighed against his neck and nodded, "Alright, if it'll make you rest assured."

Iruka rolled over and gave the older man a soft kiss, followed by a smile, before getting off the bed, making his knees almost give way. Kakashi chuckled.

_She said that a cup before bed should __help,_ he thought as he poured the hot water over the chamomile tea bag, _hopefully it'll help him relax during sleep._

He walked back into the bedroom and found Kakashi tugging on the sheets before slipping back under the covers. Iruka quirked an eyebrow and Kakashi grinned, "Changed the sheets for you." Iruka blushed and handed him the cup. They sat against the headboard as the older man drank his tea slowly, enjoying the heat that coursed through him. Iruka took the empty cup and placed it on the bedside table before Kakashi pulled him under the covers with him.

They spooned against each other, Kakashi against Iruka's back, arms wrapped around the younger man protectively as he lazily nuzzled the back of Iruka's neck, planting lazy kisses along tan skin. A silence followed.

Kakashi sighed, "I'm sorry Iruka…" he whispered suddenly in a broken tone.

"For what, Kakashi?" he whispered back, wishing he could see the older man's face.

There was a hesitation, "I'm sorry for…for failing team seven…"

Iruka's eyes widened in shock and his breath hitched.

"I failed your students…" he continued above a whisper, "I didn't give Naruto the attention and praise he deserved…I taught Sasuke the chidori…when I shouldn't have...," his voice cracked, "I ignored Sakura when I should have helped her with her confidence…," he gave a tired sigh, and his hold on the chunin tightened, "I failed your students Iruka…I failed you…," his tired voice began to falter, "I failed your trust…" his hold around the chunin loosened, "I'm…so sorry…Iruka…"

Iruka was stunned. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Emotions tightened his throat, and unshed tears stung his eyes. He forced his body to move and roll over to face the older man to find him sound asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't own.

AN: Spoiler to episode 134 (I suppose)

* * *

Two days passed. Neither of them spoke about that night. Iruka for one didn't know how to approach it, and Kakashi wasn't sure if it was a dream or not.

It kept Iruka distracted during his teaching, nearly falling victim for Konohamau's pranks. During his breaks that's all he thought about. _Does he blame himself? _Iruka asked himself and couldn't think of an answer. He didn't want to think that this, this guilt that the jounin was keeping to himself, was the cause of his sickness, because if he did, then that meant he was part of it.

It kept Kakashi distracted in the sense that he wasn't sure if it _was _a dream or not, that's what bothered him the most. _What if it wasn't?_ he thought to himself. What _if_ it wasn't? He couldn't help but think of the possible outcome. One would be that Iruka would become upset over the fact of keeping something so important from him. Another…Kakashi didn't want to think about it, and part of his mind told him that it would be best not to.

* * *

Iruka returned home and found the jounin staring blankly at the ceiling from the couch. When he heard Iruka enter he turned to face and greeted him with a smile.

"Iruka, how was your day?"

Iruka gave him a small smile, "Good I suppose." _Konohamaru__ almost got the best of me, but that's beside the point,_ "How have you been?" he asked the jounin as he took off his vest and hitai-ate.

"Alright," he answered simply.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Don't care, making you snack anyway,"

Kakashi smiled in response, "Really, Iruka I already ate, not too long before you came back."

"Oh," Iruka looked at the jounin sitting on the couch, _Should I ask him__Would it be best if I just stayed quite?_

"Iruka? Is everything alright?"

Iruka hesitated, "Kakashi…about…about the other night…"

Kakashi visibly tensed, and gave Iruka an intent look, "What about it…?"

"I…um…did…" he still didn't know how to approach the subject, so he figured he should be straightforward about it. He walked to sit next to the jounin, the mismatched eyes following him, "Do…do you blame yourself?...for what happened to team seven?"

Kakashi sighed and reclined back onto the couch, "So it wasn't a dream…" he murmured, "Actually…I'm kind of glad that it wasn't…"

Iruka gave him a confused look, "What do you mean?"

"Iruka…it was my fault," the words came before he was able to think it through, before he could think what he was going to say next. But it stung. Saying it out loud made the guilt he's had to deal with hit him square in the chest.

"It's not your fault Kakashi," Iruka said softly, the older man shook his head.

"It's my fault, and you know it," it hurt. The words and admittance hurt. It made his throat constrict and it made him tense him jaw. Three simple words "It's my fault", "Team seven dismembered, because I failed them as a teacher."

"No," Iruka spoke softly, "No, it's not your fault, Kakashi…"

"You assigned me team seven because you trusted me with your students,…with Naruto."

Iruka slowly shook his head, "I assigned you team seven because I trusted your judgment. I knew those students before you did, Kakashi, and I knew that they were in good hands. I knew that Naruto was…is such a handful that he needs a sanin to handle him. Sakura is practically Sasuke crazy, and I'm beginning to believe that she's found her calling, and Sasuke…he was, and still is, troubled."

"I still failed them Iruka…I still failed you," he said in a broken voice.

Iruka took a pale hand in his and held it firmly, "Please don't say that, Kakashi. Please don't blame yourself."

"You trusted me Iruka," he shook his head solemnly, "all I succeed in doing was making was a big a mess."

"Kakashi, it's not your fault –"

"Then you're saying Sasuke didn't nearly kill Naruto with the chidori _I_ taught him…"

Iruka's eyes widened at the sudden statement, "Kakashi…"

"I practically helped him achieve his goal at his revenge…to become a missing nin…," his voice cracked, and Iruka took him into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms protectively around the older man.

"Kakashi, you taught him because that was your job as their teacher," he whispered, "you taught him because he needed someone to teach him how to wield his sharingan," he soothingly kissed the older man's temple, "Please, don't blame yourself, Kakashi, you did what you thought was right. You shouldn't blame yourself…like I don't blame you. I never did."

Kakashi wrapped his arms around the younger man, his anchor, his love, and, for the first time in such a long time, he let his tears fall.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Don't own.

* * *

Kakashi woke up in Iruka's bed; snuggled into the sheets and under the covers with a slight cramping in his stomach, and groaned as the pain intensified. Iruka appeared in the doorway and the older man that was currently trying to roll up into a ball confirmed the source of the groan. Kakashi looked at him before catching his breath and screwing his eyes shut and instinctively clutched at his stomach. The bed dipped slightly under Iruka's weight as he crawled over to the older man.

Iruka gently rolled him over to his side, making the jounin hiss, and gently pressed the pressure point above his buttock. Kakashi twitched before breathing again, "I can't stand seeing you like this," he said softly, and kissed a pale cheek as he kept pressing on the pressure point. It dulled the pain, dramatically, leaving the jounin tense instead, "Is that better?"

Kakashi gave a sharp nod before gasping again. Iruka kissed his temple soothingly and released the pressure point, it dulled the pain enough to keep him from going into a fetal position. Kakashi tiredly rolled over onto his back and smiled up at the chunin, "I was having such a nice dream too," he pulled Iruka down for a soft kiss, and smiled against his lips, "Hmm, but the real thing is so much better."

Iruka smiled as a light blush crossed his cheeks, "You slept longer than usual though."

"I did say it was a nice dream," he grinned up at him before it slid into a soft smile, and sat up against the headboard, "You know…I was thinking."

"About?"

"Well, what do you think about me moving in?"

Iruka's eyes widened a fraction, "Are…are you serious?"

"Well…I _do _practically live here; it's just…not official."

Iruka considered it, and realized that, in fact, the jounin slowly did settle in. Leaving clothes from past nights and sharing his bed nearly every night. Nearly, because the jounin did have missions to do. Iruka smiled, "Then why do you ask?"

"Well," he drawled, "I thought it would be nice if I could stop paying rent for an apartment that I hardly live in anymore."

Iruka chuckled, "I meant, if you do practically live here, why ask? I probably wouldn't have noticed if you did completely settle in."

"Ah, you have a point," he gave Iruka an uncertain look, "So…?"

"Again, do you even have to ask?" Iruka chuckled and planted a kiss on the older man's cheek, "I would love it if you _officially _moved in."

Kakashi smiled brightly, "Good, because I pretty much stopped paying rent for the past couple of months." Iruka gave him a blank expression. Kakashi gave him a coy look, "I knew you wouldn't mind?"

Iruka sighed before laughing, "You're such an idiot sometimes."

"Your idiot."

"Hm," he nodded and gave him a chaste kiss, "My idiot."

Kakashi frowned, "I don't think I like the sound of that."

Iruka laughed again, "My 'Kashi?"

"Ah, that sounds better," he nuzzled the younger man's cheek, "My Ruru."

"'Kashi?" Iruka spoke after a few moments.

"Hm?"

"Don't…" Iruka hesitated, "Don't scare me like that again," he hoped the older man understood, because he honestly didn't think that he would be able to erase the image of his lover coughing up blood any time soon.

Kakashi looked at him for a moment before he smiled in understanding, "I'm sorry, Ruru," he kissed the scarred nose, "If it makes you feel any better…," he smiled warmly before continuing, "You have nothing to worry about."

Iruka took a moment to process what he meant, and smiled when realization hit him. He held his lover in a tight, warm embrace, the older man smiling as he returned it.

Iruka's heart rose with the complete trust Kakashi had given him, allowing the older man to completely confide in him. It could have been through the heart to heart they had not too long ago that Kakashi finally realized that, yes, Iruka was, and always, will be there for him. It could have been through the process of actually admitting his guilt out loud that he realized that it felt good to have someone – no, not just someone – but a loved one, to confide in. It could have been the fact that it he finally allowed someone in; in his heart, his life, his future. It could have been that this man, that he loves so dearly, made him live and finally enjoy life once again, that made him turn away from his past and finally look at the present, and his future. It was this man, that so unconditionally loves him and takes care of him, when he himself is too careless to do so, that has changed Kakashi. For the best.

"I love you, Iruka."

"I love you too, Kakashi."

Yes, this is what Kakashi needed to finally live again.

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AN: Next up, the Epilouge. 


	8. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Don't own.

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_Two months later._

It had begun to rain while class was in session, taking Iruka by surprise. It really didn't look like if it was going to rain during the day. Iruka cleaned up and packed his things and when he was about to head out he realized that he didn't have an umbrella.

_Just my luck_, he thought annoyed. _Guess I'll just walk through the rain._ He frowned.

He locked up his classroom and headed to the front gates, when he noticed a figure standing near the entrance. As he got closer he noticed the figure had silver hair. Kakashi turned to face him and his eye turned into the famous inverted U.

"Kakashi? What are you doing here?"

Kakashi gave him an amused grin through his mask, "What do you think?" he held up an umbrella, "May I walk you home, Sensei?" he teased.

Iruka chuckled, "You're silly sometimes."

Kakashi opened the umbrella and held it in between them. Iruka hooked his arm with the one holding the umbrella and leaned closer to the older man, with a silly smile on his face. Iruka glanced around and noticed that the roads were deserted; everyone was staying out of the rain.

"Kakashi?" he said softly.

"Hmm?" his arm was pulled down along with the umbrella, covering them. His mask followed. Iruka pressed his lips against the older man's, and gave him a tender kiss. After a moment, he pulled away and pulled the mask back up, over the blushed pale cheeks, while his own blush crept onto his.

"Let's go home."

Kakashi smiled brightly under his mask, "Let's."

It had been two months since Kakashi officially moved in with Iruka. And Iruka was kind of glad that nothing had really changed between them, and if it did, it was only for the best. There were still those times where the jounin would stumble in through his bedroom window when he returned from rough missions. But now, there were times when Iruka would wake up in the morning and find the jounin sleeping soundly next to him, after those missions that didn't exactly leave him drained, and every single time, Iruka couldn't help but smile and pounce on him. It was quite a beautiful thing to wake up to. Now, when Iruka returned home after a long day at the academy, and found the jounin in his apartment daily, it made him smile despite how his day was.

Through this whole process, the jounin has been more willing to talk to Iruka about himself, about his past and things that he just never really told anyone, while Iruka did the same. There would be nights when they settled in for a good night's rest that they ended up talking until one or the other couldn't keep his eyes open, and it would always make the other smile, possibly because they never thought that they would ever be this happy.

They walked home in a comfortable silence, and as they neared their apartment.

"Ne, Iruka, did I ever tell you…"

Yes, this felt wonderful.

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AN: That's it! I hope you guys liked it (not just the ending, but the whole thing). :) 

(Yes, the tea acted as the enabler in Kakashi's 'cofession', the ulcers acted as a wake-up call, per say. I will answer any unclearities/ unanswered things, but I'm pretty sure i didn't leave any gaps like that.)

Thanks for reading!


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